Friday, March 7, 2008

Dear John...

First of all, in case anyone is wondering what a red velvet cake is.... According to Wikipedia, "a red velvet cake is a type of rich and sweet, mild chocolate cake which has a distinctive dark red or red-brown color." It looks like this:



Coldstone even features red velvet cake in some of its ice cream cakes... like Cake Batter Confetti...



... and Strawberry Passion...



Great. Now I want ice cream. And cake. Thanks a lot, you guys.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Moving on to the "real" entry.

(Caution: May contain spoilers related to American Idol and Celebrity Apprentice.)

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Dear America,

Thank you for voting Danny Noriega off American Idol. The whole experience will be much better without his snotty little attitude.

Love,
Someone Who Really Ought To Vote Since She Seems To Care So Much

PS Don't you dare touch David Archuleta.

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Dear Donald Trump,

Thank you for firing Omarosa last night. You have done the world a favor.

Love,
Someone Who Is Way Too Invested In Your Show

PS Special props to Piers Morgan for laying the smackdown on Lady O.

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Dear Size 6 Jeans,

I love you.

Love,
Someone Who Is Happy With Her Size 8 Pants Too

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Dear Self,

Are you sick, or not? Please make up your mind. Because this in-between-ness is killing me.

Love,
Someone Who Is Sick of Waking Up Every Morning Full Of Gunk, Then Feeling Better By The End Of The Day, Then Starting All Over The Next Day

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Dear Ivan,

Stop pooping in Ari's room. Just because you did it once does not mean you need to keep doing it over and over. You are lucky Ari likes you so much. Very lucky indeed.

Love,
Someone Who Is Glad She Didn't Have To Clean It Up

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Dear Ari,

That long, lingering hug you gave me when I said goodbye to you this morning made it so much harder to leave. And then that smirk you gave me right afterwards told me that you know exactly how cute you are. You are the devil in disguise. But I love you anyway.

Love,
Someone Who Is Equally Devilish But Doesn't Know Where You Get It From

PS Thanks for falling asleep last night without your pacifier, again.

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Dear Tony,

I am trying to be mad at you for buying those chocolate chip cookies, but they just taste. so. good.

Love,
Someone Who Wishes You Would Just Hurry Up And Finish Them All Already

PS Happy birthday tomorrow...

4 comments:

Eden said...

Really enjoyed this entry! lol it made me laugh.

Way to go Ari!

Moz + Pam said...

What a fun entry! Thanks for sharing! :)

Mary said...

The Strawberry Passion one looks so good :) Your entry was very witty. Were you an English major in the past or something?

Bad Ivan!

Dave + Jess said...

I was going to send you a from-scratch recipe for Red Velvet cake a while ago. And then I didn't for some reason, but I guess I'm glad I didn't because you said something about a disaster last time you tried. So anyway, I hope Tony still gets his favorite cake on his birthday!

Did you visit the travel agent yet?? D's been looking up airfare to the Caribbean and it's cheap. So hopefully flights to the South aren't that bad either.

Give Ari-girl 33 kisses from her Auntie Jess who loves her so much!!!!!!