So much

We went to a friend's house for dinner last night, which meant Ari had two of her favorite little playmates to hang out with. I asked Ari several times if she needed to go potty, and her answer was always no--which didn't surprise me, because she never wants to miss a minute of playtime with friends. Finally, after we'd been there a couple hours, I called her over to me so I could check her Pull-Up, figuring she had to be wet by then. Sure enough, she was, and I launched into the little reminder I've given her hundreds of times now--that she needs to tell me when she has to go potty so she can pee on the toilet, and if she does pee in her Pull-Up, she needs to tell me that too so I can change her. I kept my voice calm and even, but I could hear undertones of frustration and fatigue. I wasn't angry with her--just tired of giving the same old speech, tired of having to change yet another soggy Pull-Up.

She put her hands on my shoulders to brace herself (as usual) as I took off her Pull-Up and helped her into a new one. Then, out of nowhere, she wrapped her arms around my shoulders as far as she could reach, leaned her head onto my shoulder, and enthusiastically declared, "I love you so much!"

I paused, my body freezing right along with my brain for a moment. I can count on one hand the number of times she's said "I love you" to me unprompted, and I've never heard her add "so much." When I collected myself, I hugged her back, squeezing extra tight as I said, "Well, I love you so much too," my voice soft with surprise. Then, to force away the tears, I teasingly added, "You manipulative little beast."

She pulled away and grinned at me, eyes sparkling as if she totally understood me. I'm not saying she didn't mean it when she said she loved me. All I'm saying is that sometimes she seems eerily aware of the power she possesses to charm me.