"I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."
~ Rita Rudner
Me: OK, I know these pants are long on me, but be honest--do they look stupid?
Tony: No.
Me: Then why are you smiling?
Tony: Because I just can't believe how short you are.
Me: Shut up.
(This conversation happened while I was pregnant... just FYI.)
Me: OK, I bought this bag of Cheez-Its so that I could have some to eat on the ride home tomorrow.
Tony: OK...
Me: There's no Cheez-Its left in this bag. I don't know where they went. There are supposed to be 6 servings in this bag.
Tony: Well, maybe they're on the floor. Remember, you dropped the bag earlier and some fell on the floor?
Me: Yes, you're right.
Tony: Are there a lot on the floor?
Me: Tons.
Tony: Probably 4 or 5 servings worth, huh?
Me: Absolutely.
(Another conversation that happened while I was pregnant. Not that I wouldn't scarf down a bunch of brownies when I'm NOT pregnant...)
Tony: Are these 3 brownies the only ones you saved?
Me: Um... yeah, that's it. Just 3.
Tony: You ate the other ones, didn't you?
Me: Maybe.
Tony: So are these 3 for me?
Me: If you want them, you'd better eat all 3 right now.
Tony: Hey, we should go see a movie on Friday night, since Ari is going to be spending the night at your parents' house.
Me: Oh, we should! But I don't know what's playing.
Tony: Well, "Saw 5" opens on Friday.
Me: Oh really? Well, so does "High School Musical 3."
Tony: (silence)
Me: *smirk*
Scene: We've just gotten in the car, getting ready to leave the mall and head to Target...
Me: Um...
Tony: (smirking and pointing) Target is that way.
Me: Hey, what makes you think that's what I was going to say? Maybe I was going to say something else.
Tony: (still smirking) Oh yeh? What?
Me: That... I love you. Can't live without you.
Tony: Well, you would have asked eventually.
Me: Not if I guessed right!
Me: Well, I gained 50 freaking pounds when I was pregnant.
Tony: Nuh-uh, it was more than that.
Me: No, it wasn't.
Tony: Yes it was. You weighed, like, 120 when you got pregnant, and you were over 170 by the end.
Me: No, I weighed 127. And I was 172 by the end. So, technically, that's less than 50 pounds, so THERE.
Tony: Yes, but that 172... that was what you weighed at your last appointment, right?
Me: Seriously? Are you seriously going to argue about this with me?
Tony: *laughs*
Me: (scowling) I severely dislike you.
Tony: *laughs again*
Tony calls me at work one day...
Me: Hello?
Tony: I need to know if you are afraid that aliens are going to attack us.
Me: Wha...??
Tony: (slowly repeating himself) I need to know if you are afraid that aliens are going to attack us.
Me: (confused) What in the--
Tony: Because there are not 1, not 2, but 3 different cups here on the kitchen counter, all with just a little bit of water in them...
Me: (starting to understand) Ohhh...
Tony: So I just needed to know--
Me: (laughing) Yeh, yeh, I know... like in the movie "Signs." I don't know why they're there. I guess I forgot about them. You know I do that.
Tony: How could you not notice that you already had 1 or 2 other glasses already out?
Me: Is this the only reason you called me?
Tony: Um...
Me: Oh. My. Gosh.
The scene: I've just come downstairs. Tony is on the couch watching TV. When he sees me, he just stares at me with a big grin on his face.
Me: (suspiciously) What?
Tony: (pulling out all his boyish charm) How much do you love me?
Me: (with a sigh) Not that much. Why?
Tony: (still being charming) Do you want to make me some red velvet cupcakes?
Me: (thinking of the dishwasher that needs to be emptied and the sink full of dishes, and knowing how much he hates doing dishes) Do you want to do the dishes?
Tony: (pondering my counter-offer) Yes!
Me: Crap.
A conversation around our anniversary last year...
Me: *sigh* So when are we going on another cruise?
Tony: 15 years, baby.
Me: We should go now. Like, tomorrow.
Tony: We've already talked about this. We'll take a cruise every 5 years. We did one for our 10th anniversary, so you have to wait until our 15th.
Me: Psh, c'mon. 11 years, 15 years... what's the difference? Close enough.
Tony: Doesn't work like that.
Me: Ooh! I've got it!
Tony: *sigh* What?
Me: I've been IN LOVE WITH YOU for 15 years. Almost.
Tony: Yeh... so?
Me: So, that's 15 years. Cruise! I win!
Tony: Nice try.
Me: Hmph.
One of my favorite pictures of us... taken in the spot where we got engaged (not on the actual day he proposed, but several years later).
"We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love."
~ Author Unknown
Tonight is "date night," and Ari is spending the night with my parents. We're doing the typical "dinner and a movie" and I'm really looking forward to it. It's been way too long since we had an official date night.
Ooh, crap, I still need to get him a card...
Happy weekend, everyone!
1 comment:
For what it's worth I think you should see a romantic movie in honor of your anniversary...yes Tony can put up with a chick flick once in a while! ;) Or a Disney movie like The Sorcerer's Apprentice! Just a suggestion! :)
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