"Dear __________"

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This LOLcat has nothing to do with anything... I just thought it was funny. Actually, now that I think about it, the "mood" of it kind of goes with the mood of most of the rest of this entry.

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And now, these...


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Dear People Who Shovel/Plow our Apartment Complex,

You do a really horrible job. I mean, I get that you have to work around a lot of cars and such... but don't you think you could do a better job with the sidewalks, at least? It's pretty sad when the scariest part of my morning commute is the walk from my front door to my car.

Sincerely,
Slip Sliding Away


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Dear Winter,

GO AWAY.

Seriously.

Cordially,
Wishing for Spring


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Dear Skin,

What is your deal? I put lotion on you all the time--heck, sometimes I even use baby oil--and still, you insist on being DRY.

OK, I'm sorry. I know you're trying your best, and that we both know this is really Winter's fault. No worries. I've already written Winter a succinct, but strongly-worded, letter.

Cuddles,
Sara


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Dear Awesome Knee-High Boots of Mine,

You are one of the best investments I've ever made. You don't keep my feet all that warm when they're buried in the snow, but who cares? You look fantastic, and you keep my legs dry when I have to slog through snowdrifts (which has been far too often this winter). Keep on rocking...

Thanks again,
Sara's Legs


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Dear "The Office,"

While I think it's super-cool that you're airing a one-hour episode after the Superbowl, tell me... how am I supposed to successfully DVR this? You'd better have it accessible online ASAP.

Signed,
Thanks for Finally Resolving the Dwandyla Triangle


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Dear ABC,

I'm psyched that you decided to pick up "Scrubs" this season to avoid it ending abruptly... but why did you have to go and cancel "Pushing Daisies"? I'm tempted to boycott "Scrubs" just because of that reason. I'm not saying the 2 decisions are related in any way... I'm just sayin'...

Signed,
Someone Whose Opinion Doesn't Matter Anyway


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Dear American Idol Judges,

I remember the good old days when you used to practically sneer at people who tried to beg their way into Hollywood. But this season I've seen not one, not two, but... well, several people acquire their Golden Ticket through groveling. What gives? Has the hot new judge cast a spell on you?

Signed,
Yeh, I Said She Was Hot--That's Not The Point


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Dear Friend Who Probably Wishes to Remain Anonymous,

Thankyou thankyou thankyou for the "They Might Be Giants" CD you sent me. I am loving every glorious, wacky minute of it. I really don't know how I have lived this many years without acquiring my own collection of their songs. Thanks for making that happen.

Hugs,
Your Little Glowing Friend


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Dear Ari,

I know you thought it was hilarious when you escaped the play area at the mall last night and took off running, but it was most definitely NOT funny. And I know you think you saw a hint of a smile on my face as I caught up with you, but again, it was most definitely NOT a smile. Must have been a trick of the light.

But seriously--don't do that again, kid. No, seriously. I mean it this time.

Kisses,
Your Favorite Mom


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Dear Tony,

Thanks for clearing my car off for me the other night. I know you would have done it even if I wasn't sick. And thank you for bugging me to take medicine while I was sick, too. Even though I rolled my eyes at you and griped about it, I know you harass me because you care. Just remember that the next time I nag harass you about something.

Love,
Runt